Ruby Jean

Here we are almost 3 weeks after Ruby's birth and I am just now writing about her arrival into this world. Every day that went by that I still hadn't written about it left me in a panic... what if I forget?! I also was/am worried that I won't get all the details and feelings right, but if that's the case at least I will have what I remember written down. This is the shortened, less detailed version. I wrote a longer version but decided to keep that for Blake, Ruby and I.

Thursday, June 14- My mom got to Boise this night. I wasn't due until June 19, so we planned a lot of projects to keep us busy until baby came. Those days are a blur now, but I do remember putting up curtains and waxing mom's car.
Monday, June 18- We had a nice dinner and after sitting on the couch for a minute, my mind started reeling. "How bad can castor oil be? I've had diarrhea before, it's not that bad. And it's odorless and tasteless. Plus if you mix it with orange juice you probably can't even tell you're drinking it. And how bad can contractions be? Not that bad, cause women have babies all the time. Having a baby can't be as bad as people make it out to be." Needless to say I was feeling pretty invincible. I just don't really know what happened! Out of nowhere my mind said IT'S TIME. TAKE THE CASTOR OIL.
I voiced my thoughts to mom and Blake, and decided I would go take a long, hot shower (my last as a first-time pregnant woman) When I got out, my mom had prepared some orange juice and a nice little cup of 4 tablespoons castor oil. We mixed it up, I plugged my nose, and I drank it at 11 pm.
It didn't taste gross, so don't believe anyone that tells you that it tastes gross. It definitely has a weird texture, like drinking oil (hence the name.) I always pictured motor oil whenever I thought about drinking castor oil. Nope, just oily orange juice. The only gross part was when I would stop drinking and I could feel the oil all over my lips. No way was I going to lick my lips.
So that was that. I drank castor oil. Big whoop! I crawled into bed with Blake at about midnight, feeling like I would probably just wake up pregnant and labor-free like I had so many mornings before...
Tuesday, June 19 1:30 am- woke up and felt the urge to use the bathroom. spent about 10 minutes on the toilet, went back to bed.
4:30 am- felt another urge to use the toilet. spent another 15 minutes emptying my stomach and intestines and bowels of its contents, went back to bed.
5:00 am- couldn't fall asleep. I was having what I thought at the time to be cramps, but looking back I realized they were contractions. very mild and irregular, but they were making sleep difficult. I put on my headphones and listened to my HypnoBirthing soundtrack to try and soothe myself to sleep (no I did not actually use this method during labor or delivery).
7:00 am- woke up after a restless sleep to some more mild cramps and back pain. I started texting my mom, who was in bed downstairs.

Mom: Did you get any contractions last night?
Me: I'm assuming that's what they were! Just had one at 7:22 and again at 7:30 I think...
Mom: Oh goody. How long do they last?
Me: Haven't gotten that far yet
Mom: Haha ok
Me: The bebe has definitely dropped I know that!
Mom: Well we could go for a walk
Me: I'm going to have a shower cause my back is killing! Do any of your ice packs double as heat pads?
Mom: Ya I think so. I'll go warm one up

I got out of the shower at about 8:30 and got dressed. At 9:19 we decided it might be a good idea to start timing contractions, since they were coming what felt like fairly close together. Lo and behold, they were coming every 2-3 minutes and lasting about 45 seconds. After determining that they were consistent, we decided it was time! Blake and I packed up the remainder of our hospital bag, and at 9:41 we got in the car.
We got to the hospital at about 10:30 and got settled into a room. My nurse came in and checked me, said I was dilated to a 4 and that they would be checking me in. After that, everything is kind of a blur. She hooked me up to monitor my contractions and baby's heartbeat. People kept coming in, asking all sorts of questions that I did NOT want to answer. Why does anyone try to talk to a woman in labor?!
At about 11:15 I decided I had had enough of this. I had never planned on getting an epidural, but I was pretty open to narcotics. My mom asked the nurse if I could have some, (I was so beyond speaking for myself at this point) and we decided that I would get in the Jacuzzi for a while until someone could come administer those to me.
In the jacuzzi, another nurse came in and started talking... most of what she said I have no idea. She had me sign some papers (I seriously have no idea what I signed) and all I remember thinking was STOP TALKING!!! It was so painful and annoying. I think she told me that I could stay in the tub for another 30 minutes, and she would come back and give me the narcotics after I got out. I had Blake apply some counter-pressure to my back in an attempt to relieve some pain, but that only worked for about 5 or 10 minutes before I decided to get out.
As soon as I was back in the delivery room, I felt intense pressure and a very, VERY strong desire to push. The nurse came in and checked me, and with a slight look of panic in her eyes said "Okay, we are having this baby really soon." She called the midwife, told her "there is barely a rim there!" and told me NOT to push.
After what felt like FOREVER I heard the midwife come charging into the room. (My eyes were closed.) She was panting, like she had run as fast as she could to get here. She checked me, confirmed that it was indeed go-time, and rushed out of the room to get dressed.
At 12:15 or so I started pushing. Each push felt so fulfilling, like I could FINALLY put all my energy into something, instead of just holding it all in and trying to make it through each contraction in one piece. I pushed for about 35 minutes, and then Ruby was here!

The midwife asked "well, what is it?" (we didn't find out what the sex was, and I had asked that Blake tell me.) He looked at our new baby, confused for a minute, and responded, "It's a girl!" Ruby was then placed on my chest and all three of us hugged and cried for the first time, together as a family.

 I still can't believe I was able to give birth to our baby without any medications. Our bodies are amazing, wonderful things and it's so empowering. I am truly grateful to be a woman and glad that I have the opportunity to raise a family and bring children to this earth, and for a man who is such an amazing husband and a sweet father. I am so grateful for my sweet baby girl. Being a mom is hard, but already so worth it. We love you so much Ruby Jean.

papa squat

Supportive of any and everything his children choose to do. Even when I chose to move to Idaho and marry Blake, he told me to do what made me happy. Always just looking out for his kiddos.
Cute. Always kisses mom in the kitchen and ALWAYS tells his family he loves them.
Owl. He has probably used owl feathers in his internationally known fishing flies.
Thinker. My dadio is very smart. Knows big words, how to do math problems, and knows a lot about plants, fish, animals, and nature in general.
Thoughtful. I googled my dads name along with the word "fly" and found this:
http://www.castingforrecovery.com/grass_roots_supporters.htm
click on the link by his name and read the letter he wrote to this organization. it made me tear up.

Easy going. My dad loves the outdoors. I love hiking with him because his pace is one that enables you to take in all the beauty of the earth. Optimal pace for bonding with family and nature.
Reel. Fly fishing reel that is.
Importance of work. My dad has always been a great example of fairness in marriage. My mom isn't a big cook, but my dad picks up that end. My mom likes to do yard work, so sometimes my dad cleans up the kitchen for her. He is always working hard and has passed on a love and knowledge of importance of work to me.
Clearly I am his favorite. One time, my dad wanted to go to Waterton for the weekend. Noone wanted to go except me. And since that day, I will always be his favorite.
Kids. Dad has always stressed the importance of family bonding time. We would go on family vacation, and everyone was coming, and no friends were invited. That's just the way it was. It forced us siblings to spend time together and although we wanted to kill each other at times, it taught us to have fun together. I still cherish our family vacations and appreciate the time and effort my parents put into planning these trips.
Sings. My dad has also passed on a love of music to me. Most people I have ran into through my travels think I have just the strangest, widest variety of music that I love. I owe this to him and him taking me to his LA Jazz choir practices, listening to Rankin family and manhattan transfer on the way to vegas, going to music festivals with him, and him playing celtic music on sunday mornings.
Old? NO! This guy is so young at heart. He loves to tell jokes, make the fish he catches talk, and hang out with the kids. And although he may not be able to keep up with the Dudleys as far as CRAZY goes, he knows how to have a good time, and he's hilarious! if you can get everyone to be quiet long enough to listen to him, that is. :)
Never lets his children slack. Which I appreciate! My Dad has always made his kids hold up their end of deals. Never let us get away with much. You be lippy to mom, you are gunna get a serious talking to. You borrow money, you are going to pay it back. Late for curfew? You better hurry your butt home or you are going to lose some privileges, boy! I appreciate this strictness SO MUCH now in my life, and I hope I can be as good a parent (some day) as my daddy is.

Love you Dad! See you on Friday!