why it is sometimes okay to tell your goals to screw off

I am a goal setter and a list writer. Most days, when I'm on my A-game, I will write up a to-do list for the day of things that I want or need to get done. Exercise, read, deposit checks, clean bathroom, etc. Sometimes this list is HUGE and includes even the tiniest things. "Brush teeth," cause sometimes I forget. It's not hard to do if you don't shower or change out of your pajamas all day. I also get really into New Years Resolutions. like when I vowed to send a birthday gift to each of my friends/family and that they would get it on time. Amy's birthday was 2 weeks ago and her present is still sitting on my counter. Pretty sure I sent Tina's 2 days AFTER her birthday. And these people don't even live in the same country as me so you know it's going to take a little while for the gift to arrive! Another goal I made was to read for pleasure, a list of 14 books. It's April and I am 10 pages into my second. So if my calculations are correct I will have to sit and read a freaking ton to accomplish that, and heaven knows I am not good at sitting.

The book I am reading now is The Sun Also Rises. I'm actually 35 pages in and I feel like it is a chore to read this book. (Sorry Ernie.) I AM NOT AN INTELLECTUAL. I can't even follow half the words and who the heck the characters are. I'm just not into it and I refuse to let it take up anymore of my time. 

Does that make me a big fat failure? I really don't think so. It means I set a goal to help me grow and be better, and in the process I learned something about myself. Hemingway, at least this book, is not for me. Maybe I'll try again in 5 years, when I'm more mature and stuff.

Another goal I made was to post a picture of Ruby, Blake or I every week. If you take a look at my most recent post you will see it was almost month ago, and that I missed several weeks before that. I don't see myself as a failure though. I learned that always having the camera ready to capture moments took away from the moments themselves, and while I would love to have oodles of pictures of every cute thing ruby does I would rather have the memory of when Ruby and I made those memories.

I also started up another blog where my sister and I planned to post DIY's, recipes, roundups and what not. We both learned that blogs are a lot of work! We kind of jumped into things with not much of a plan and now we are learning that we kind of need a plan. But we aren't failures there either, because we set out to do something, did it, learned, revised and revisited the goal.

The wonderful thing about life is we get second chances. I get to allow myself to not finish Hemingway's book and to move on to something I might enjoy more. Goals don't scare me because I have come to accept the fact that I may fail, but I know that if I do I can just brush myself off and move forward knowing a little more about myself.