Ruby is in bed and Blake is working in Pocatello this week, so I finally have a minute to write down some thoughts I've been having. I just love this little turkey. I can't imagine my life without her and I feel so blessed to be able to stay home and watch her grow and learn. Today she rolled over and was holding herself up on her knees. I can't believe how fast she is changing! I can honestly say I didn't really know what to expect with motherhood. I was (and still am) nervous, of course, about being able to afford children, raising respectful and decent human beings, and everything else that comes with it. Having to change my priorities and put myself second (or third in some cases) has been strange. Eating dinner at the table before 8 is a luxury. Most of the time I'm giving Ruby a bath and eating dinner while sitting at the edge of the tub. 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep is not even an option. Being able to just hang out and paint my nails just doesn't happen, because once I do have the time I just don't care anymore. I love when she gives me a big gummy smile, but I think I love her scowls just as much (they remind me of her Dad.)
For a few years now all I have wanted to do is get a bachelor's degree in biology. It is still something I want to be able to say I've accomplished, but for the time being I know that at home with Ruby is where I'm needed most. Ruby has taught me so much about myself. What my strengths and weaknesses are, and what being TRULY selfless is all about. She has helped me get my priorities straight(er).
She really does make me a better person, and I will forever love her for that.
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